For the past few weeks, I've reflected on my life and what I've done to make me who I am today; and when I die that the people I want will remember what a good person I was because of the choices I made. Today was a good day to think about those who've made a legacy for me to live up to and also just a day to remember those who passed on that I once cared about so much.
I thought a lot about my grandparents. I didn't get to know my grandpa Christensen very well because he died when I was only 5 years old but I know that he was a great man and loved his family very much. My grandma Christensen passed away a week after my 18th birthday. I have many memories of her and keep them close to my heart. She loved to quilt and has made me a lot of quilts throughout my lifetime. She had the kind of attitude that you always wanted to be around and always had a good story to tell or wanted to hear a good story so she could tell someone else. I love and miss them both dearly.
One person that has stuck out a lot in my mind today that I just cant get out of my head is my ex boyfriend Craig. Craig died on February 4, 2009. He was battling addictions and just couldn't be saved. I had a lot of firsts with Craig and as much as it didn't end so good, I sometimes miss all the fun times we had together. I remember our first date, he took me to see Baby Mama at the theater. I remember he was so shy that he didn't hold my hand until about 15 minutes left in the show. We continued the date at my apartment and watched Bourne Ultimatum. The next day he was my boyfriend and I was really happy about that. We dated for about 4 weeks and I decided I needed a better guy. So I told him I never wanted to see or talk to him ever again. He agreed and as bad as it sounds I got my wish. Sometimes, now I wish I could have been there for him and been a better example but other times I know that he is in a better place. He had a good heart and I know would give it to anyone if they asked for it. His smile lit up a room and he knew how to make me laugh.
I hope that one day when I've passed on that those who knew me are happy they did and those who didn't wish they did. I live my life one day at a time and see many trials but I'm learning to be big and make big decisions. A smile goes a long way and this whole getting up an hour early to do hair and put on makeup thing has boosted more confidence in myself than anyone could imagine. Or maybe cause when I do get ready I have a hot guy telling me I look beautiful but still. I'm the most happy I've been in a LONG time. And I don't want it to stop. MY LIFE ROCKS!
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