NOSTALGIA...

nos.tal.gia: noun 

the state of being homesick : HOMESICKNESS

a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition

Lately, I have been having strong feelings of nostalgia. I've been working at the high school and just walking around the halls and into the different classrooms sends me into a spiral of memories. I can't really explain it any more clearly than... I miss high school. 

I've really been missing Bone Voce. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is the advanced choir at Delta High School. My sister was in it and so was I. I LOVED Bone Voce. I especially loved the Christmas Tour. We would leave the school either on a Thursday or a Friday night, and spend the night in Salt Lake City. The next morning we would wake up and go to different places on Temple Square and sing at these locations. It was just so special to be in such a holy place with your really good friends. Sometimes we would go ice skating, go to a mall, check out the sites, or just walk around. I remember one year a group of friends and I went and saw a movie on temple square in between the time when we had to sing. It was just so much fun! I miss singing in a group. I miss being around my friends and singing with them. 

Things were so different back then. We saw each other every single day, talked, and hung out after school all the time. And now... when we see each other in real life, we pretend like we never knew each other. It's so sad really. What happened to these friends that I spent every class period with? Or what happened to me? I shouldn't really blame anyone here, because in all honesty I don't reach my hand out to those friends now. Which I probably should. I say to myself, "If they want to talk to me, they will come and say hi." Then I sit and wait but no one says a word. Was it me? Was I the one that should be the bigger person and say hello to them? Then the moment is gone and past and I sit here blogging my thoughts instead of feeling grateful that I said hello to someone I haven't seen in months-years. 

High School was such a fun time for me. I was always doing something, whether it was in the play, Bone Voce, homework, sporting events, or just hanging out with friends I was busy. Now, I feel like if I go to a sporting event or concert or play alone... people look at me differently. Maybe it's the anxiety or what, but I don't like doing things alone. In high school, I never was alone. If I wanted to go to the game, I would call up so and so and go! Now, if I called the same person who was my companion in these adventures, it wouldn't the same. She'd have to ask her husband, find a babysitter, or be working that night so she couldn't come. In turn I would either go alone and feel completely out of place and awkward OR I just wouldn't go all together. 

Maybe I'm having these nostalgic feelings because I've moved home and I'm seeing younger people doing things and being so busy and happy... and I'm... always at home, here... blogging... about how much I miss the good ole' days. I never had these types of feelings when I lived up north. Why? Well, because I was always busy. I had friends to hang out with, a work schedule that kept me busy, and roomates. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE being home, but I don't love that I'm not as social as I was when I lived at home 5 years ago! I jump at the chance to get out of the house for whatever reason it may be. 

All in all, I miss high school. I miss my friends. I miss the fun. I miss the activities. I miss it all. 

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

YAY! It's almost Christmas! Yesterday, Oak City received almost 2 feet of snow!! We haven't received that much snow in years, so it was a lot of fun. I was supposed to go in to work at Delta Middle School but I couldn't get my car out of the driveway, so I spent most of the morning clearing off the driveway with Chris. Dad came home and helped us then our neighbor Steve Nielson came with his loader and scraped some snow off the rocks in front of the house and cleared a space for my car to get out. It was so nice to have that extra help. We would have been out there for quite a while without them.

The Snowman Chris & I made! Kolby named him Ryan the Frosty Snowman. HA HA!

The only pictures I got were ones of when the snow was all cleared off. But you can see the pile from where we moved the snow from the driveway to the grass!

I LOVE this tree whenever it snows. It just looks so beautiful. This was before the roads were scraped off though, so you can kinda see how deep it was on the road.

Another big pile!

I am really thankful for the snow this year. It's so beautiful. I am really grateful for this wonderful season. I have felt God's love surround me every day. I am thankful for the birth of Jesus Christ and His life as well. He is the reason we celebrate Christmas and I am so grateful for him in my life. I am grateful for a loving family who is always there for me whenever I need them. I am thankful for wonderful friends who support me and are amazing examples. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Let us all remember the true meaning of Christmas, be safe, and love all of our fellow men!

Thank you all for being a part of my life and reading my blogs! I will try to update more often (don't I always say that?) and also update with more pictures! I love you all and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

For those of you who were concerned about if I was the favorite aunt. I was told on Thursday by Madelyn that I am in fact her favorite aunt. I posted a Facebook status about it and also said we were going to see Tangled that night as well. My sister Bobbie thought I was "bribing" Madelyn by taking her to the movie, which I wasn't. I already knew I was the favorite BEFORE we went to the movies. So YAY for being the favorite! :)

What to write about? That is always a difficult question for me. Basically because I don't have much to update. I don't have children who do super cute things, a husband who does super cute things, or a social life that makes me do super cute things. So it's really been hard for me to update because, well... I haven't done much. Sad, I know.

I've moved home and haven't really done much. I've been babysitting my sister Jennie's three kids as she has gone back to work. It's been a big learning experience for me but I am loving it. I've definitely learned the value of patience with these kids but I've also learned the meaning of true love. These kids just want to be loved, just like any person in the earth wants to feel like they are loved and cared about. Maybe that's where patience comes in, they want to be loved but they don't listen so it makes you impatient with them which in turn makes you not want to love them, just like any human being. I've learned both lessons from kids who barely know how to read yet. I do love watching Jennie and JD's kids. They are a joy and I'm sure if you asked them who their favorite aunt is they would say Auntie Em. :)

I've also been substituting at the schools in the district in the lunchrooms and as a custodian. I've only worked in the high school lunchroom and been a custodian at the middle and elementary school. I'm grateful that I've only been working in the lunchroom at the high school because my mother works there. It has been so nice to work with her and see how much she loves her job. For most of my life, (that I can remember) my mother has worked in the lunchroom. I don't really blame her though. She worked while we were in school and was home by the time we got home from school. I could still enjoy my mother being home even while she was working. The ladies she works with are amazing women and I know that if I was confused with something or didn't know where something went, they would jump on to help me out. And thats just when I would be working with them, I'm sure that if I needed help with personal things, they would surely give insight on things. They are so much like my mom it is crazy. But I love them all dearly and would consider them all my friends.

I've been cleaning my mom's boss' house as well. Intimidating I know, but it is actually very nice. This woman pays attention to detail so much it's mind boggling. But great with cleaning her home. Everyone likes a clean house and this woman is no exception. I enjoy cleaning her house a lot. I see the finished product and know that I did that. She appreciates it as well. I'm happy to clean her house.

As far as everything else in my life, I'm very confused. I felt like I knew where my life was headed but now I'm not so sure. I know that I never want to go back to the life I was living two years ago. Sneaking around, fooling around, and being played. I thought I had something better to look forward to that I wouldn't have to look anymore and that I would finally be able to settle down with someone, but now I am not so sure. Heck, 2-3 years ago I didn't care about being married and settling down with someone, but as of recently I've wanted to. I'm almost 23 years old, I need something in my life to make it worthwhile. I'm tired of the tears and the wishing and waiting for nothing to happen. I've made far too many mistakes in my lifetime. What if today was my last day? I know that I wouldn't be happy with my life if it was. I'm tired of people not believing in me. Believing that I can do far greater than I've been doing. I know I can do great things and I will do great things. I look back on my life and look at the mistakes I've made and also the changes I've made, and think to myself, "Why do I make mistakes? Why do people make such big mistakes in their lives? There is more heartache in the mistakes, so why do I make mistakes?" There is an answer. We came to this earth knowing we would be tried and tested and that we would make mistakes. We also knew that we could change our mistakes and repent and be made whole again. The Atonement is what makes this all possible. I never understood, like really understood the Atonement of Jesus Christ until a year ago. I am so thankful for the Atonement in my life. Whenever I feel down or depressed or alone, I turn to the Savior and He makes my heavy things seem light. He took the burden from me a long time ago, so that I didn't have to suffer right now. It's amazing what I know and that I know the truth. I am thankful for the true gospel in my life.

Anyways, enough of the sad stories. I don't want all of you to be leaving comments, texting me, Facebooking me, or whatever because this blog post ended on a sour note. My birthday is in less than two weeks and I couldn't be happier! :) YAY!

Is Anyone doing the 30 day challenge anymore??

I guess everyone is so busy with their little lives that we don't blog anymore, I guess it's the holidays coming. So sad!

I have yet to be terribly sick this season but I know my time is coming. I always get sick but I've been pretty blessed lately that I haven't had too bad of sickness. I think the last time I got sick was in October when I was in Canada! So I think I'm doing pretty good! Honestly, I don't know what to write about so I'm just rambling. I do want to write again however. Maybe I'll write a book!

Thoughts?

Why Are You Doing This 30 Day Challenge?...

I am doing the 30 day challenge because I wanted to see if I actually COULD blog consistently for 30 days. It was a goal... but I'm not mad at myself for NOT being able to complete it. I think I did fairly good for how busy I was in the month of November. I only missed it by 6 days! I also wanted to blog more. I've looked back on my blog and most of it has been updates every two months or whatever, but now I want to blog almost every day!! I love blogging and I think I will continue to do it. I love reading about my friends lives as well. I'm so thankful to my friends that have done this 30 day challenge with me, its been a lot of fun to see your personalities come out and for me to learn a lot more about you! :)

Stay tuned for MORE blogs to come!! :)

What Do You Think About Your Friends...

Hmmm... What do I think about my friends??? HAHA! Which friends?? Just kidding! I think ALL of my friends are great! Some friends I hold deeper to my heart than others, but that doesn't mean I don't love and care genuinely about all of my friends.

I'm very grateful for Facebook, so that I can have all of my friends right there in just one click. Its amazing how many of my friends from school on Facebook, especially friends that I haven't seen or talked to in quite a few years!!

I've been so blessed to have such wonderful influences in my life. My friends have always been there for me whenever I needed them. I love that people are always so willing to help me when I need it. They are there to talk to about anything and its just so great! I love when my friends invite me to things that makes me feel included in their lives. It's wonderful.

I'm grateful to say that some of my friends will be long lasting friendships and others won't be as long... but I'm thankful to those friends who have stuck by my side for so many years and if they want to put up with me for many more years, I'm here! :)

So I started the 30 day challenge on October 20th.... and I am not finished yet?... What do I do now? Kidding.... I am going to finish it out, but I am pretty proud of myself that I only missed it by 6 posts! So basically 6 days without blogging! Which is a pretty good goal for me. Oh shoot, I'm probably doing the post about what I've learned in the last 30 days.... so I'll stop! BUT, I will finish this 30 day blogger challenge and also be blogging a lot more. There is something about doing this that sends a spark in my head that wants me to write! Ok, shutting up now!!!

What Would I Find In Your Bag...

• Wallet with lots of cards, receipts, some cash, checks not cashed, and my checks.
• My camera
• Pens 2 that write black and 1 that writes blue.
• Car keys that way they never get lost. :)
• 3 different packs of gum. 2 fruity ones and 1 minty one. I'm a little self-conscience about my breath. Only a little bit. :)
• and most awkwardly.... TAMPONS... eww!!!!

A Letter To Your Parents...

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all that you do for me. Thank you for being so nice and raising me so well. Thank you for teaching me the in's and out's to being a woman. Thank you for showing me love and kindness. Thank you for being such a wonderful cook and wanting to share that talent with me for my future as a wife and mother. Thank you for being there for a good laugh, cry, and smile. Thank you for teaching me the facts of life (even the life of hard knocks). Thank you for showing me that it's okay to be different and unique. Thank you for taking the time to read scriptures with Chris and I each night. It means a lot to both of us and we appreciate it. Thank you for being so nice and genuine to Chris. He really appreciates all you do, especially making grilled cheese sandwiches! :) Thank you for loving me unconditionally, even when I do make mistakes; and I know I've made A LOT! Thank you for the many compliments, hugs, kisses, I love you's, smiles, and laughs. You are one of my heroes and I admire you so much. Even if you are a little bit RED I still love you regardless. I love you so much. I'm glad I picked you in the pre-existence to be my mother, I couldn't have picked a better person to raise me into the person I want to become. You are my true best friend. Thank you so much!

Love, Em-r-lina! :)

Dear Dad,

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for lecturing me so much. I do listen and sometimes it does drive me crazy... I do appreciate you. Thank you for working so much to provide for all my many wants and needs. Thank you for showing me that its okay to be different and unique. Thank you for teaching me life lessons that I may have never known or figured out. Thank you for the ring! :) It may be all bent out of shape and was lost for about 2 years, but I think the ring was a lot like me. I'm happy that I found it and I am no longer lost without it. Thank you for your kindness to Chris. He still remembers what you said to him the first day he was here over a year ago. I'm sure he will NEVER forget it. Thank you for being so fun and upbeat. Thank you for being so caring and so kind. I'm sure thats just the BLUE in you. :) Thank you for the many father's blessings and teaching me and raising me in the gospel. I am very thankful that you hold the priesthood and that I can ask for a blessing anytime. I love you so much. I'm glad I picked you in the pre-existence to be my father, I couldn't have picked a better person to raise e into the person I want to become. I will always be daddy's little girl. Thank you so much.

Love, Emily Rebecca in your SOUP!