The Lesson I Learned This Past Weekend..

Saturday, I went back home to Oak City to ride four wheelers with my friend Jenny! It was a little windy so we didn't get to ride for that long. When we got back I called my sister Jennie and asked if she was going to come up with the kids since it had been 2 weeks since I had seen them. Of course she said yes! I was so happy! They came up and Madelyn was acting like her normal cute self, which always puts a smile on my face. We watched Pinnochio and ate hot dogs. Just a normal night, right? As Jenny and I were leaving, we gave hugs and kisses. Then Madelyn does this thing where she says, "Oh and one more thing!" Then does or says whatever she needs to before she leaves. Ok, so we are walking to the car and she says, "Oh Em, one more thing...!" Then has me lean down so she can whisper a secret in my ear. I didn't understand what she was trying to say so I'm like, "WHAT!?" Then she says the lesson learned out loud so everyone can hear. Here it is, "Em you have to be an example to your friend Jenny!" Now, doesnt that just break your heart!? Ok, well it broke mine!

I haven't been the best example to Jenny or any of my other friends the past few weeks, and it's taken a 3 &1/2 year old to help me realize that and to change my life around so I can be. Madelyn has always been that way though. She knows how to say something that will make me think of what I need to do to change. I don't want her to get big. I dont want her to make mistakes like I have. I love her soo much. She definately is one of God's precious children like we all are but her spirit is definately pure and clean. I love Madelyn!

Honesty Award... Tagged by Jami

Rules for the Honest Scrap award -The honorees are to: A) First list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

1. I am a serious pack rat. I keep every little thing. At one point in time it had a significant meaning to me so I keep it. Old papers, birthday cards, magazines, old bottles, etc.

2. I spend way too much time on Facebook. I know what you are doing, when you are doing it, who you're doing something with, and want to look at pics when you put them on about what you did. I change my status at least 6 times a day because I am constantly doing something different.

3. Pepsi is a serious addiction of mine. I have at least one a day and if I don't have one I am craving to get one. I can definately taste the difference between Pepsi & Coke and will not drink Coke to save my life. (I mean, literally, Pepsi saves my life) I don't even know what I love about it, it's definately NOT healthy for me but I still love it. Wild Cherry all the way! I love Pepsi Twist with Lemon though too but they got rid of it.

4. I usually keep to myself when I am feeling down. I don't like to let others comfort me in my time of pain. I become very anti-social which friends think I am mad at them or something. I'm not mad at you, I just need time to be alone and think.

5. I have this fettish for putting black and brown things together. Don't do it! Ever! The other day I put on a brown shirt and had black fingernails. Instead of changing shirts, I changed my nails. My biggest thing is brown shoes with black pants! Blaah! Just the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I've always been like this and I don't know why.

6. I am 21 years old and still afraid of the dark. I have to sleep with a nightlight or some sort of light in the room. Also, when I'm walking in the dark, I have to turn on a light or shine my phone to make a little light so I can see where I'm going. I know it sounds pretty crazy but I am afraid of the dark.

7. I have over 100 CD's. Most of them are mixes and have the same songs on them too. If anyone would like to set up a donation fund for money to buy me an I-Pod so I can get rid of some CD's that would be greatly appreciated.

8. I don't care about my appearance as much as I should. I would go to Wal Mart with dirty sweats, not showered yet, no make up, or hair done and I wouldn't care who gave me dirty looks. But when I do get all glammed up, I look really pretty.

9. I have over 15 best friends. These are the people that I do things with on a regular basis and if I had any problems I would go to them. I can't have just ONE best friend because all of my friends are the best. They've all been such great examples to me and been so sweet and nice to me, that I can't have just one. I have some that are more favorited than others but that just means the rest of you need to step it up.

AND... 10. I could never lose my faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Satan could never get me to fall away from what I know to be true. I've seen so many miracles in my life to let go of something so dear to my heart. I have been so blessed to know the truth and would never want to lose the blessings I have now because of what I know.

I tag, Leah, Bobbie, Melissa, Holly, Sarah Dziuk, K-Grenk, & Cassidy! HAVE FUN YA'LL!

Draper Temple Open House/ AMAZING!

Yesterday my ward and I went to the Draper Temple Open House. It was AMAZING! It's been a LONG time since I've been in the temple and being in this one gave me so much peace and comfort. It was really weird because you are just walking through and dont really stop much, so the tour was only about a half hour. But still it was pretty awesome. One of the things I LOVED in it, was the color of the wood. They told us on the bus before we drove up there that it was some sort of cherry wood from Africa. It looked so pretty. Also, as we were going in the celestial room, I closed my eyes and had my friend guide me in the room, and as I did that I opened my eyes and it was sooo awesome. I felt like I was in heaven for a small minute. I could definately feel the Spirit and God's love around me when I was in that room.

I love to see the temple! Going to see this one opened my eyes to know that I do want to get married in the temple and always have those blessings. I couldn't see myself getting married anywhere else but the temple. It was so amazing!!

Everything Happens For A Reason... What That Reason Is, I've Yet To Find Out.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." (Marilyn Monroe)

While looking online I found this quote and instantly loved it and thought I should blog about it! At least share my thoughts!

I also believe everything happens for a reason. I've always thought that way. It all depends on what we do with what happens to us, will determine the outcome. I've had my share of heartbreaks. The one that always sticks out to me that I can't get my mind off is Brandon. You know when your life goes completely wrong, then there is that ONE person that helps make it seem not so bad? Brandon was that person for me. I trusted him. But we changed, both of us. We had to learn to let each other go. I think it was a lot easier for him. I still have yet to let go. One of my favorite lines from a Katy Perry song says, "How do I get better, once I've had the best." I love that because it's so true. I thought I had the best when I had Brandon because I trusted him. But us breaking up is best for both of us. I'm beginning to see that. At first I didn't understand WHY but now I am understanding that there is BETTER than him. I just haven't found him yet. But I'm still looking! ;)

I love in this quote where it says, "eventually learn to trust no one but yourself." I love that and I've noticed it ringing truth in my life. I understand that people are entitled to their own opinions but I trust myself and I'm beginning to realize that people don't ever fully understand what one is going through. No one completely understands what heartache and pain I've had to go through for the last 9 months. No one ever will. I've noticed that if I go to the Lord first with my problems that everything seems to work better and fall into place easier. Instead of going to my friends, and crying about my problems; I'm going to the Lord. He is the only one that KNOWS me more than I know me. He knows what is best for me and wants to make it happen. I just have to let him.

Also in the quote where it says, "sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." That is so true. I'm waiting and looking for that one person who will make all my dreams come true. Who will sweep me off my feet and carry me away and all my cares will just vanish because I have him. But for now, I belong to me. My happiness is what makes me go. What makes me wake up in the morning, wondering what crazy random thing will happen to me and make me a better person because I lived it. I love my life right now. I love being single. I love my friends and my amazing family. I love knowing that I am loved and I don't have to have a box of chocolates or flowers telling me that I am. Because my friends and family tell me everyday. That is what I live for.

Who am I.

Well... the picture said it all.. Emily. But, WHO is Emily? For the last few months, I've been constantly trying to figure out WHO I am. Who I am now and who I can be in the future!

"I am a Child of God and He has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do. To live with Him someday."

Isn't that the coolest thing?! I am a Child of God and He has sent me here! We left Him when we came here to earth. He promised us that if we did everything he told us to do; that we could be with Him again. Isn't that so great? But, we forgot what he told us when we got here on earth. So... we, out of instinct, habit, or just because we dont know any better, we mess up! We stray further and further away from the truth, but there is hope! The Atonement was a sacrifice given by Jesus Christ so we could all be saved; no matter what we've done, we can make it back to our Heavenly Father. Now isn't THAT great!? Alot of us, me included have taken the Atonement for granted. Until something so horrible happens, it gives us a wake up call and helps us realize what matters most to us. Ultimately being with my family & Heavenly Father again is what I want the most, so why would I want to do anything to jeopordize that?

Just something to think about!

My 2nd Experience With The Utah Jazz

Last night I went to the Jazz game again with Sarah! We made it to this game pretty early, which was alot better because we could see all the players warming up and get a little more hyped up! Of course we were! This picture is the view of the court from our seats, without being zoomed in. Yeah! ;)

One of the many pictures we took at the game! I love basketball and I know most of what goes on, so we were constantly cheering and dancing and just being downright ridiculous! At halftime, they had this cool crew that did these flips and dunks with the basketballs. It was pretty sweet and most of them were very attractive so it was fun to watch! ;) After that, we went and got some ice cream. The guy said I could get 3 different flavors so I did! I got Cookie Dough, Caramel something, & Mint Chocolate Chip! It was pretty awesome and I ate most of it!!! I still had it after the game and there was this homeless guy on the street corner where we were waiting and I asked Sarah if I should give the guy my ice cream, she said NO! But I totally would have. I'm all about giving to the poor!! Remember me thinking about others??

This game was a lot of fun!!! Thanks again to Lincoln and Sarah for letting me go again!! I love going to those games and would go everytime if they let me! Thanks guys!!!

2009 BRING IT ON/ The Change Begins With Me!

2009 so far has been alot of fun! Being 21, has been ALOT of fun! I've been focusing more of my time trying to be happy, rather than sad. I've been too busy moping around feeling sorry for myself, WELL... I'm done with that! No more Sad Em! I'm bringing Happy Go Lucky Em back, whether you like it or not!!!

Some things I am going to try to change, no resolutions just things that I could change and probably should but I won't be hard on myself if I don't change 100%.

1. SMILE MORE! LAUGH AT THE TRIALS! That's a big one! Most people can't laugh at the bad things that happen to them, I'm going to try to have a more positive outlook on trials. Try not to always ask "WHY is this happening to me?" buY "HOW can I become better because of this trial?"

2. GO TO THE LORD FIRST! Self explanatory! He knows all and He is the best one that can give me the best advice, comfort, and happiness.

3. GIVE TO OTHERS MORE! Instead of thinking, ME ME ME all the time. I'm going to think OTHERS OTHERS OTHERS more! I am very blessed with what I have and I want others to share in those many blessings!

4. BUILD LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE RATHER THAN SHORT TERM. I've always wanted to have a BFF (Best Friend Forever). Even better, 20,000 BFF's or more! I want to make a lasting impression on people so they think, "Man, Emily is freaking awesome! I wanna hang with her all time! Yeeah BFF Em!"

5. LEARN TO MANAGE MY MONEY & HAVE MORE TO PLAY WITH. My parents have agreed to help me learn more about finances and hopefully this year I can pay them back for paying my rent in 2007. ($1200 to go!) And then, if I'm lucky with a better paying job, I can get a credit card and earn credit to get a new car!!!! Aw the joys of being big!

6. FAMILY FIRST! These people never let me down, my family! I have the most AMAZING parents in the world! My siblings are the bomb.com when it comes to anything. My 5 little best friends, Mad, Hi, Kolby, Kaylin, & CJ put the biggest smiles on my face and I wouldn't trade anything or anyone for them!

7. GET READY FOR A NEW DAY, EVERYDAY! Last year I didn't really care about my appearance, but now if I want guys to even LOOK at me, I have to be cleaning up my look. Thanks to MOM I have contacts now so I can look decent without the bars in front of my face, BUT of course I get lazy so the glasses must stay, HOWEVER, instead of NO makeup at all, I will wear makeup alot more often. I've been trying new things with my hair too instead of just a ponytail or just a messy bun! Get ready for the HOT, NEW & IMPROVED EM!!!

8. BE POSITIVE AT WORK! No one likes a grumpy-gills, especially at work. So I'm going to try to be happy when I'm at work. Take the criticism and learn from it. It only makes me a better employee, which makes me a better person! As much as I dislike what I do, it's not the worst thing I could be doing. I mean, I could be back in the deli going home smelling like fried chicken!

9. BE CLEAN! INSIDE & OUT! And by "be clean" I mean, EVERYWHERE! Inside my body, outside my body, room, car, mouth, EVERYWHERE!!!! When I've had money I've been buying storage containers to put all my junk in. It saves space and I get to keep all my random junk. I'm going to try to eat healthier. As much as I HATE veggies, I will eat alot more of those! More juices and water, NO I didnt say I was giving up my addiction to WILD CHERRY PEPSI (because that would never happen in a million years), BUT I will drink more of that other stuff. NO tattoo's or anything else that can harm my outsides.

and 10. REALIZE WHAT MEANS THE MOST AND STAY CLOSE TO IT. Number one FAMILY ALWAYS! Number two THE GOSPEL ALWAYS Its just that simple. Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and wants to help me, if I let him. I know he is there for me and I know he loves me and wants me to be all I can be. I put all my trust in Him and that makes me so happy to know that he is there for me. I want to be happy and He can help me!

Thoughts & Comments are welcome! KEEP SMILIN' YA'LL!!!

Words that have made me stop and think about the last 7 months....

As alot of you know, I love music. It basically runs my life. So when I was doing my daily, go to YouTube; listen to music deal, I came upon this song that made me think about my breakup with Brandon! I always thought he was "the one" for me, that I was 100% happy with my life, and that everything was great until he broke up with me. We only dated for a month so why is that breakup hard on me? Why was it and why is it still? I didn't think I could ever find someone who could make me so happy as Brandon did. I looked forward to waking up and being able to talk to him but when we broke up, I didnt have that anymore. I felt so alone and so useless because I was very unhappy.

This song along with many others similar to it have given me strength to move on and I KNOW that there is in fact someone out there who will complete me and make me more happy than I've ever been. I haven't found him yet, but I know he is there! The Lord works in mysterious ways and I believe he watches out for me daily. Sometimes I just need a wake up call to get me back to what I'm supposed to be doing!
Here's the words. Its called, One Day You Will By Lady Antebellum

You feel like you’re falling backwards
Like you’re slippin’ through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can’t see it now

Chorus
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much
you'll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You’re just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you’re down to your last breath
And you don’t know it yet

Repeat Chorus

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you’re made of, you’re made of

Repeat Chorus

One day you will
Oh one day you will

This song has changed my life. Right now, it is one of my favorites. Be sure to look it up so you can hear how it sounds too, (sorry I dont know how to post the vids from YouTube on here!) It's country so be aware of that, you non-country lovers! I cried when I first heard it but I've been an emotional wreck this week, so I've cried about the smallest things! :( Hope you like it!!!

What I've been up to!!!!

Well... since I last posted alot has happened. I started seriously dating someone but then broke up because we had different goals for the future and I need someone who has those same goals.. temple marriage, being crazy happy, etc. He didn't bring out the best in me, so I had to let him go. We, of course are still friends because I cant completely hate anyone, so we will always be friends.On December 11, 2008, Hiett and I celebrated our birthdays! Mom came up and we went to Chilli's for lunch and then went grocery shopping because I had no food. Then I went to get my friend Leah and we drove to Delta for the party. We had lots of balloons which the kids were soooo excited about and ate cake and ice cream. It was a lot of fun.

Christmas came and went as well. This year it was Kaylin and Caleb's first Christmas so that was a lot of fun. One of my friends at work took my shift so I could spend Christmas Eve with the family, thanks again Monica! We had almost 100 presents under the tree, Mom wrapped about 75 of those. We had a wonderful lunch/dinner at mom's and opened all the presents. The town had a special program at the hall so we decided we would go see that, then we played Life and watched movies. It was very relaxing. The next morning we went to see what Santa had brought all of the kids.

First stop, Kolby's house! Santa brought Kolby a slide!!! He had lots of fun showing us how it worked. He also got a lot of candy too!!!
Next stop was Madelyn, Hiett, and Caleb's house! Madelyn got a kitchen from Santa and was sooo photogenic as well. ;) She loved showing us how to cut the food and her favorite was also the slide that all 3 got to share. She was the biggest so she had to show us how it worked. Jennie made some rules that they had to go on their bums and they had to wait to go on the slide if someone else was on it, on the floor so no one got hurt. They seemed to do great with that. I loved Madelyn's cupcake jammies too! She also got a little Jasmine doll that she had asked Santa Clause for. It was alot of fun to see the smile on her face.
Hiett was a sicko on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, he wanted to be held and had sores in his mouth, poor boy! This was the best picture I got out of him on both days. He got a power wheels 4-wheeler that he had asked Santa for. He said he wanted Matt's brruummm brrumm but Jen & J thought one that he could ride would be great. He didnt ride it much because he was sick but also there wasnt alot of room to ride it inside. Once it gets warmer and the snow melts I bet Hiett will ride it almost everyday. Hopefully by then I will have pictures up and posted.

Caleb got a swing from Santa. For the past few times I have been around him, Jennie has let me hold him which is great! Most of the time he sleeps when I'm holding him but I dont mind that. He is getting to be soo big and is almost 2 months old now and wearing 3 month clothes. One of these days I will get a picture of him awake so you can see his beautiful eyes.
Kaylin had Santa come to Grammy & Poppy's house. He brought her a learning kitchen. We think that she will be able to pull herself up to stand with this toy. Its alot of fun and sings cute songs and teaches her. I love this!!! Good choice Bobbie! I think Kaylin got most spoiled this year.
Caleb got blessed on December 28, 2008 in Delta Utah by his dad, JD! This out of 7 or 8 photos was the best of the whole family. Hiett was still feeling sick so this was the best that day. They had a dinner after with BBQ sandwiches, potato & shrimp salad, chips & dessert. It was alot of fun to spend time with the entire family again.

New Years was spent with Traci, her mom, sister, and Traci's kids. We went to Hogle Zoo to look at the zoo lights! I was glad to have my warm coat there. We looked at the lights and they still had some animals there to look at too. We came back to Grandma's house and played Disney pictionary with other cousins too. At midnight we banged on pots and pans to celebrate the new year. Brandon came over for a bit too and we all talked. It was alot of fun.

January 3, 2008 I went to Oak City for Kolby's 2nd birthday party. Tiff made horse cupcakes and Kolby got a lot of construction toys, just like Daddy's. I had to work that night so I didn't get to spend much time there but the time I spent was a lot of fun. It always is when I am with my family. I love them all!

Of course I worked in between all of this craziness so thats my main reason for not updating but I promise I will try to update my life more often than every 2 months. I have baby showers, bridal showers, birthday parties, weddings, and so much more ahead of me. But I love my life and all that happens. Bring it on!!!! ;)

TO BE THANKFUL IS TO GIVE THANKS...

Well, Thanksgiving is tomorrow so I was thinking I should post about some of the things I am thankful for. I love to write and I've been told that all of my posts are like a story so this one isnt going to be short, just like all the other ones haven't been either.

The first and most important thing I am thankful for is my family. I am grateful that I can be myself with them. That they know when I'm sad and how to make it better. I am grateful for the men in the family that are all worthy priesthood holders and would be willing to give me a blessing if I needed one. I am grateful that I can talk to any of them about any of my problems and they won't judge me or make me feel bad. I am so grateful for the little ones in my family now, Madelyn, Hiett, Kolby, Kaylin, & Caleb. All 5 have unique ways of making me smile. I love them all very much.

Next, I am so thankful for the church. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. I dont know where I would be or who I would be if I didnt have their love and support in my life, especially now. I am thankful for Jospeh Smith for restoring the gospel back on the earth for me. I am thankful to him for translating the Book of Mormon. I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon and the joy it brings to my life. I am grateful for prayer and the power it has on me and my life. I am grateful for my trials and how they make and mold who I am and make me stronger. I am grateful for our prophet today, Thomas S. Monson, for being a great role model and leader. I am grateful for all my blessings.

Next, I am thankful for my friends. For the great examples they are in my life. Examples of faith, wisdom, virtue, & so many more. A few weeks ago I was thinking to myself about how many best friends I have and I thought of almost 20. I am grateful that they were all placed in my life when they were to help make me strong and build me up. I love them all.

Of course I am thankful for temporal things too. Food, clothes, shoes, money, blankets, my laptop, my cellphone, movies, music, TV, shopping, nature, etc.. etc.

Since Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up, I hope all of us will stop and think about what we are thankful for and what makes us really happy. I hope its not our I-phones or Rockband, but our family, friends, the gospel.. those things that make us the most happy we can be. Our best selves. I hope we will all try to remember the real meaning of the season. And thats Jesus Christ, He is the reason for the season. The one reason why we celebrate CHRISTmas!