Sometimes, you never realize what you have until its gone. Its been almost 2 months since Brandon and I broke up and it is still hurting. When you love someone and then have to cut off all ties is really hard. I miss him more than anything in this world. I see couples all the time so happy and in love and I want that back! I want to be in love again and always smiling and knowing for sure there is someone who isn't my family really caring about me!
But, isn't that what really matters? Your family? True friends? I have gained such a better relationship with my mom and my sisters these past few months. They've gone through everything I have. Not in the same way but similar! I am so grateful for my family and the great examples they have been these past 20 years! :)
Once you've gone through something as hard as this it takes time for your heart to heal. I had never really truly felt my heart being broken as when I did that night and a few days after Brandon broke it off with me. I thought in the past that I really loved a few people but when I met Brandon, everything changed. I knew I was in love and I couldnt deny it. I still am in love and wont deny it. He's my best friend, feelings like that just cant be changed, at least not for me. Of course I know that moping around doing nothing wont help anyone, I learned that from my amazing friends and my even more amazing family. AND that right there my friends IS what really matters the most. The relationships you build now with your friends and family, even more importantly your family. Yeah, it sucks getting your heart ripped out and torn into shreads but thats why the Lord puts those other people in your life to come and pick up the pieces and help you be strong for the next person. Brandon was that person for me when I had broken pieces with Craig, and whoever the next guy is will help me with Brandon, unless its Brandon then I dont know whats going to happen, but who really does? Only our Heavenly Father knows what will happen. Was it a mistake dating or being around the people who havent been the greatest of examples? I dont think so, it was a learning experience for me. I have no regrets. I love my life and all the crap that gets thrown at me, BRING IT ON!!!! ;)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Losing my best friend....
You know how one day you wake up and you think your life is as perfect as it can be and then the next everything changes and you're left with nothing? Well, thats how it happend, the day I lost my best friend. He didnt die or anything but Brandon broke up with me!
He had just gotten back from his mission and I was the only girl he had dated since he got back, so of course I knew it was hard. I knew that he needed to date alot of other girls and I told him that almost as soon as we got really serious but he always told me he was so happy and didnt need to be with other girls because he had his perfect girl, me! That made me feel really good about myself so I didnt let the fact that dating other girls was really bothering me, affect me!
Things were going great, we were sooo happy with each other and got somewhat comfortable with each other, then it took a turn for the worse. He had went to the singles ward in West Jordan and there he realized he needed to date other people. He knew what he was missing out on and decided he couldnt have a girlfriend and date other girls so he broke it off. It was hard to let him do it but I know its for the best for both of us.
The Lord gives us trials to make us stronger and I am now realizing why. He is testing me and Brandon to see if we are really meant for each other. I love Brandon so much and I cant wait until he finally realizes what he wants, if its me or not but only time will tell!
He had just gotten back from his mission and I was the only girl he had dated since he got back, so of course I knew it was hard. I knew that he needed to date alot of other girls and I told him that almost as soon as we got really serious but he always told me he was so happy and didnt need to be with other girls because he had his perfect girl, me! That made me feel really good about myself so I didnt let the fact that dating other girls was really bothering me, affect me!
Things were going great, we were sooo happy with each other and got somewhat comfortable with each other, then it took a turn for the worse. He had went to the singles ward in West Jordan and there he realized he needed to date other people. He knew what he was missing out on and decided he couldnt have a girlfriend and date other girls so he broke it off. It was hard to let him do it but I know its for the best for both of us.
The Lord gives us trials to make us stronger and I am now realizing why. He is testing me and Brandon to see if we are really meant for each other. I love Brandon so much and I cant wait until he finally realizes what he wants, if its me or not but only time will tell!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
One of the many reasons to still be alive...
When Brandon came home from his mission, I knew my life as I knew it would be changed completely!
I went to his homecoming party May 29th and instantly knew that it was over with Craig and I because I had found "the one." Brandon James Webb!!! I had always known him and liked him for a short time in my life but never really thought of him as you know... my boyfriend! It didnt really sit in that he had interest other than "just friends" until he wanted me to come back after work to hang out the night of the party. Of course I went up there because I knew I would have a better time up there than with Craig and it didnt seem like Craig wanted to hang out with me that much that night. I went up there and sure enough I knew it was over with Craig and that I needed someone like Brandon. 3 days later I broke up with Craig. I admit it was hard to break up with Craig but now that I look back I am so glad I did.
That weekend, we had a double date planned... Brandon and I and his old mission companion Mark Krstyen and my friend Melissa. I didnt want to push him into anything serious so I kinda kept my cool with it. But I knew he liked me too. It was soo much fun!
The very next day he was going to Disneyland for a week. We texted the entire week. Even when he was at Disneyland, that Wednesday he told me he loved me and I knew we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I loved him and he loved me... what could be more perfect than that, right? But we had to be together in person to make it official! When I got off work, I go in my room to find him sitting on my bed, looking GORGEOUS by the way!!!! We had missed each other soo much we hugged for almost 10 minutes! When he finally kissed me, it felt so right and I knew I was going to marry him and I still know that today!
I went to his homecoming party May 29th and instantly knew that it was over with Craig and I because I had found "the one." Brandon James Webb!!! I had always known him and liked him for a short time in my life but never really thought of him as you know... my boyfriend! It didnt really sit in that he had interest other than "just friends" until he wanted me to come back after work to hang out the night of the party. Of course I went up there because I knew I would have a better time up there than with Craig and it didnt seem like Craig wanted to hang out with me that much that night. I went up there and sure enough I knew it was over with Craig and that I needed someone like Brandon. 3 days later I broke up with Craig. I admit it was hard to break up with Craig but now that I look back I am so glad I did.
That weekend, we had a double date planned... Brandon and I and his old mission companion Mark Krstyen and my friend Melissa. I didnt want to push him into anything serious so I kinda kept my cool with it. But I knew he liked me too. It was soo much fun!
The very next day he was going to Disneyland for a week. We texted the entire week. Even when he was at Disneyland, that Wednesday he told me he loved me and I knew we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I loved him and he loved me... what could be more perfect than that, right? But we had to be together in person to make it official! When I got off work, I go in my room to find him sitting on my bed, looking GORGEOUS by the way!!!! We had missed each other soo much we hugged for almost 10 minutes! When he finally kissed me, it felt so right and I knew I was going to marry him and I still know that today!
We have been together for almost 3 weeks and I have never been so happy in my entire life! I love Brandon more than anything in the world. I would do anything for him and I love spending time with him! :)
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Life of Firsts... GONE BAD!!!!!!!!!
Well... as things get going so good and everyone is happy go lucky; all good things must come to an end. I had my first break up this week. And lets just say it wasn't pretty. I broke up with him. We both knew it was going to happen but we both didnt want to be the one to break up with the other one.
But I knew that I needed to be out of that situation and move onto bigger and better things. I dont regret going out with Craig. I never will. He was a great person to me and I will never forget how he treated me. I just needed to be at a state where I could see myself in the future and where I was at wasnt looking like I was going to change to make my future what I wanted. I guess you could say it didnt go completely bad but I still have this hurt in my heart for doing it. I miss cuddling with him and how he always was with me.
Nothing can change what we had and nothing ever will I think. Craig is a great person and I have hope that he will become an even greater person and make some girl so happy. But that girl just isnt me. As much as we both wanted it to be, I couldnt ever be the girl he wanted and he couldnt ever be the man I wanted. So breaking up was hard to do but knowing that there is someone out there for me waiting for me, is one million times greater than being with someone only half of what I really want.
But I knew that I needed to be out of that situation and move onto bigger and better things. I dont regret going out with Craig. I never will. He was a great person to me and I will never forget how he treated me. I just needed to be at a state where I could see myself in the future and where I was at wasnt looking like I was going to change to make my future what I wanted. I guess you could say it didnt go completely bad but I still have this hurt in my heart for doing it. I miss cuddling with him and how he always was with me.
Nothing can change what we had and nothing ever will I think. Craig is a great person and I have hope that he will become an even greater person and make some girl so happy. But that girl just isnt me. As much as we both wanted it to be, I couldnt ever be the girl he wanted and he couldnt ever be the man I wanted. So breaking up was hard to do but knowing that there is someone out there for me waiting for me, is one million times greater than being with someone only half of what I really want.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
A Life of Firsts
These past few months have been a life of firsts for me. When I was 19 years old, I got my first kiss. ;) And this past weekend, I got my first real boyfriend. :) The feeling of having someone care about you is so amazing! I like him so much! He makes me smile alot. His name is Craig. My roomate met him a few months ago but they didn't really hit it off. Friday they were texting then she stopped and told me to start texting him. He seemed really awesome so I gave him my number. We stayed up until about 2:30am that night texting.
The next day we texted all day while I was at work. After work I was going to go shopping with my friend Leah and he wanted to hang out with me too. So after I went shopping, he and I went to Baby Mama. We didnt start holding hands until about 15 minutes left of the movie but I knew I liked him right off the bat. After the movie, we went back to my apartment and hung out.
The next day I went to church, not really thinking about him too much but he was still there in my mind. I came home and texted him. He was down at his parents house in Nephi and wanted to see me, and of course I wanted to see him. :) So after ward prayer I went down there to see him. It was the best time I have had in a LONG time. We talked about it and decided we wanted to date each other. I think that was the best decision I've made. I couldnt stop smiling and still cant. He is such a great person and he makes me soo happy. I can't eat and I can't sleep; he makes me SOO happy!!! I'm falling for Craig and I dont want to stop! :)
The next day we texted all day while I was at work. After work I was going to go shopping with my friend Leah and he wanted to hang out with me too. So after I went shopping, he and I went to Baby Mama. We didnt start holding hands until about 15 minutes left of the movie but I knew I liked him right off the bat. After the movie, we went back to my apartment and hung out.
The next day I went to church, not really thinking about him too much but he was still there in my mind. I came home and texted him. He was down at his parents house in Nephi and wanted to see me, and of course I wanted to see him. :) So after ward prayer I went down there to see him. It was the best time I have had in a LONG time. We talked about it and decided we wanted to date each other. I think that was the best decision I've made. I couldnt stop smiling and still cant. He is such a great person and he makes me soo happy. I can't eat and I can't sleep; he makes me SOO happy!!! I'm falling for Craig and I dont want to stop! :)
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
A little bit about me!
My name is Emily. I am 20 years old. I am from a small town called Oak City, Utah. I work and live in Orem, Utah. I work at Babies R Us and I love it. I have the most amazing family that anyone could ever ask for. I have 2 parents, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, 2 brothers in law, 1 sister in law, 2 nieces and 2 nephews. Talk about big family? If I could spend every waking moment with them I would. I have the most amazing spectacular friends too. I dont know what I would do without their personalities and examples in my life right now. I am your typical girl, I love to shop! I am LDS and so grateful for what an impact it has made on my life. I dont know where I would be without a loving Heavenly Father who knows and cares about me all the time. I love the outdoors and am so excited for summer so I can be outside all the time!
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